The loss that comes with divorce…

The root to all my sadness is complex. At times I am sad my marriage ended, and other times I’m relieved, because I know it’s for the best. The thing people done realize with divorce is the extra sadness that’s comes with it. I am sad that holidays will be different. I am sad that people who were once family, will become just another familiar face. I am sad at the events that I will miss because they were associated with him. I am sad about the friends I will lose because they came with him. The sadness isn’t just losing your husband, but the people and traditions that’s were once associated with him. For me this is the third holiday that has been different. Halloween was easy, not much associated with that one. The next was thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was so different this year. What was once a large double family gathering was small and quiet. This year it was just my family, in the past we made it tradition to have both of our families together for one big dinner at our house. I am thankful for my family dinner and I enjoyed how intimate it was. I am big on tradition so I was a upset that it was different, so I couldn’t fully enjoy it! Christmas is just 3 days away, things are already different due to Covid, but for me it’s just another holiday without the same traditions. I am happy to make new ones, but I miss the idea of being busy making 4 different stops in a matter of two days! Fitting everyone in. I used to hate that we had so many place to go, but over the years I have come to enjoy it. This year, it’s just my family, no making a schedule to fit everyone in. No wrapping presents for all the stops, no bonus family this year. Something I never thought about was losing family and friends that have become part of my life for the last 9 years. I am sad, I feel like I have lost them all. I know people say we will stay in touch but they are just saying that, to make it though the awkward situation. The truth is they will call or text in the beginning, checking in on your and one day you’ll never hear from them again, until your at the store and pass a familiar face that you once knew so well. I never associated this with divorce till I experienced it myself. There is a lot more loss than losing your significant other. Part of me is thankful that I get to go through these major holidays while it’s still fresh, because I have an excuse to be sad, in a year I’ll have new traditions, but this year I can mourn the new losses and be okay with it.

If you know someone facing divorce and your not sure what to do. Be their friend no matter what, don’t make false promises & understand that they are going to miss you.

I understand you want to be neutral, try and not choose a side. Try to be friends with both parties. If your family of one side, just remember they were once a family member and the marriage may not of worked but your accepted that person as family so it’s okay to still be there for both sides. ❤️❤️