The end…..

The end of my chapter has come. Almost A decade to the day. A complete circle. My ex husband and I officially started dating on January 12 2012 our marriage ended on January 12 2021. I was so upset when I received the letter in the mail, that the day I should be celebrating, my anniversary was the day I would be divorced. I was devastated to say the least. The night before the 12 I couldn’t sleep, I cried and cried. I remembered the good times, the bad times and the sad times. I replayed memories over and over again. I didn’t sleep much that night. The day came and only my Ex and I can explain the emotions we felt as we met in the parking lot before the court hearing. We felt it would be best to go in together. I remember very little from the day, I remember at one point the judge asking if I was okay to continue. I couldn’t stop crying, what was once known as a happy day was now the saddest day of my life. I felt like I was at a funeral for a family member, a very close family member. I felt that I was experiencing great loss. A loss I have never felt. It was over in a matter of 10 minutes, 10 years ended in 10 minutes. We both left and walked into the hallway. We looked at each other and could feel the same pain. The questions, did we just do the right thing? Was it really over? What do we do now? Who am I without you? I didn’t have to say it out loud but we both felt the same thing. We hugged and both just started balling, we knew it was the right thing? But how do you tell yourself that when your emotions are all over the place. After a long hug, we both still didn’t feel right. I invited him over to play with the dogs, because what better therapy right? Axl, Eva and Roo greeted us at the door. We played with the pups for a little and things felt okay. We then sat down and talked, cried, laughed and reminisced. We told each other everything, everything we had experienced since we split, we mentioned how much we meant to each other, and how we wanted to remain friends. We did that the next day as well. One thing we realized we were terrible lovers but best friends the kind of best friends that knew every little piece of each other, the kind of friend that you never want to loose. After that second day we vowed to be friends for as long as we can. After those two days I had hope that things were gonna be okay, I had several weak moments over the last few weeks, but one thing that remains, is knowing that we both and experiencing this together and that we are here for each other. We help each other though it the best we can. I no longer look at the 12 as the worst day ever. But the perfect day to end a chapter. The odds that the day was the exact same day didn’t just happened, it was meant to happen. While I still have my moments. I know we are both going to be okay.

Like I have mentioned before this will always be a chapter in my book and one that I won’t forget, the good, the bad, the happy and the sad. It made me who I am and for that I am thankful.