Tag: AnnaClendening

Life Update- May & June

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Well, I miss you all!

Since I haven’t written anything in awhile, I am gonna make this more of a life update, with mental health updates.

Last post, I mentioned I was heading to Florida is May, well, it’s now the end of July, so some of you may be wondering did she go? YES, I made it to Florida! I spent the entire 11 days there with only 2 severe panic attacks. Instead of leaving I choose to fight them, I was having so much fun, i didn’t want it to end. The plan ride was a little rough because of an issue with my service dogs, be we made it there and back. I came back a few days before my 25th birthday, I celebrated my 25th on 5/25 how cool? Every weekend since we got back from Florida, we go out to the camp grounds, to hang out with family, swim, cook, just hangout, I love feeling free. I don’t feel like I am stuck at the house anymore, so I absolutely hate being home, I want to be where the people are, as Ariel from the little mermaid sang. I sorta feel bad, my husband has been so supportive of me over the last few years and got used to being home with me, while, now I no longer want to be home, so I feel like I am forcing him to do stuff with me. What I don’t think anyone understands is I spent 6 years 6 years in the house, in Boardman. My family has been camping at the lake for the last 4 years, this is the first year I have been out. I missed so many family moments that I don’t want to miss anymore. Even if we are just sitting around it still beats being stuck on the couch feeling alone. He is working so much and just started a new job, I feel bad dragging him around, but I also feel bad leaving him at home. So I have been feeling a little conflicted, but still very happy and active. I went to the gnash and Anna Clendening concert this month and got to meet gnash for the first time, he was amazing and so loving and nice. I got to meet Anna for the second time and it was just as amazing as the first time, to top it all off she like and commented on my instagram picture. I can help but feel so loved by the people I have met over the last few months. The connections I have made in the last 6 months is insane, the distance I traveled in the last 6 months is 10x the distance in the last 6 years! I am blessed. I am fighting. I am not letting my bad days bring me down. I am not letting them control me.

This is just a quick, well not really that quick update, just so you all know I am till here and doing A-okay. Thank you for support! I promise to get back to my weekly updates soon! I have so many topic ideas, I can’t wait to get them in writing!

-Brittany

I MET ANNA CLENDENING! 🖤

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I first would like to say that I am sorry I did not post last week, it was crazy with school, work, getting ready for Easter, and of course my trip to Columbus. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, I’m sure you already know (your thinking okay, we have heard enough) I meet Anna Clendening on Saturday. She has given me the strength to keep living, to keep fighting, the courage to face my fears. If you don’t know about Anna she and I suffer from the same mental illnesses she also sings about them. I have felt connected to her since the day I heard her songs. Since this is a mental health blog, I should get to the mental health part of the story, well if you read my first post, I have agoraphobia. The furtherest I have made it in the last 5 years was about 1.5 hours away. (That happens this year) I saw that Anna was coming to Columbus. I couldn’t, wouldn’t miss out on meeting her! I instantly bought the tickets, and told myself I was going. Not going to lie the whole week before the concert I thought I wasn’t going to go. I started to worry about it, i actually almost had my husband turn around, but I didn’t. I had to meet Anna. I had to tell her I felt her pain. I had to tell her that her music saved me. I felt sick on the way. I didn’t tell anyone. I just fought it. I thought about the reward. When I got to the concert, Anna’s Sister was working the Merch stand, she was amazing, she talked with me, told me things about Anna, played with my dogs. Anna came out to the meet and greet and saw my pups immediately, she made a comment about them. I for once felt like I could be free. She understands me, understands that I needed them with me. She sang a few songs, let us ask questions and even told us more about her. All while being 5 feet away from her. Then I got to meet her, take pictures and her autograph. She talked on the phone with my little brother and played with my pups. She listened to my story she felt my pain, I felt hers. We cried together, we hugged, I held her hand. In that room we bonded over such a terrible thing, but we felt for each other, I could feel it. She was so down to earth and open about her journey and story. That night I drive 3 hours away. I faced agoraphobia and best it. I didn’t let my anxiety that over my life that night. I wanted to live. I needed to live. I made it, if you take anything from this blog post, keep fighting, don’t let fear consume you. I did for 5 years, I lost 5 years! If Anna can tour and I can get out of my comfort zone, than you can too!

One of these weeks I am going to put together an mental health playlist so keep it an eye out, I know some amazing songs that have helped me become stronger and fight my mental illnesses! 🖤